Funerals

Let's talk about funerals. Funerals themselves are a somber event.  People are crying and sad.  I don't do well with that.  I am awkward.  I have no idea what to say so I end up saying nothing.  I'm sorry for you loss is something they hear all the time, do they want to hear it so much?  I don't know.  It makes me nervous.  Especially if it is the funeral of someone I do not know well, but I am there to support family.  Open caskets make me super nervous.  I never know what to do.  Here are some thoughts that go through my head.  - Do I look?  Do I not look?  Do I just stare straight ahead and pretend I can't see the casket.  Oops, I saw it out of the corner of my eye?  Why are there notes and trinkets in there?  Wow, that's a lo of make up. - I just never know how to handle myself.  I think sometimes I come across as unfeeling or rude.  I'm not.  I feel a lot.  I get teary when I don't even know the person.  I feel to much and I don't know how to handle it easily.  As I go through things I am finding how much alike I really am to my middle child who is an introvert and suffers from anxiety and OCD.  It is hard for me to figure this out, but great because I can relate to him and help him figure out coping strategies for when things are hard.